Breaking Point
by suicidalunicorn97
Summary: The wall inside Sam's head is breaking, and so is he. Set in Season 7 in the mental hospital. Trigger Warning for suicidal thoughts and possible self harm.
1. Chapter 1

**BACKGROUND: Set in Season 7, Sam's crazy because the wall in his head is broken and he remembers the Cage. Hallucinating Lucifer, fun stuff like that. It gets to the point where he hasn't slept in days because** ** _Hallucifer_** **is all up in his noggin. He starts freaking out and ends up wandering the streets. He runs into a drug dealer who gives him some pills that will supposedly help, but they don't do anything. He starts running from Lucifer, and gets hit by a car.**

* * *

"WHERE IS HE?" Dean Winchester stormed into the Dean of Medicine's office. "He was in a car crash, why can't I see him?"

"Ah. You must be Sam Smith's brother."

"Yeah, what's going on?"

"Sam was admitted. He was treated for a broken rib and some lacerations."

"Okay, that doesn't sound too bad. And?"

"And, he's on our locked psychiatric floor."

"What?" Dean scoffed. His brother knew better than to let himself end up there.

"Were you aware that Sam is experiencing a full-blown psychotic episode?"

"Oh come on..." Dean shook his head. "Psychotic?"

"Yes. We need to determine whether his state was brought on by the drugs, the Insomnia, or if it's a symptom of his condition."

"Wait, drugs?"

"Yes, his tox screen showed a combination of Xanax, Klonopin, and a few other things. The accident occurred in the...shady part of town. It's likely he met up with a dealer there."

"No, Sam does _not_ do drugs." Dean insisted.

The doctor put his hands up. "I'm sorry, but the tox screen doesn't lie."

"That can't be right. You gotta let me see him!" Dean demanded.

"Alright." The doctor sighed. "Come with me."

After he was checked for sharp objects, (they filled two bins with all his weapons) The doctor led him through the halls of the psychiatric ward. The walls were an off-white, and the air smelled of disinfectant. He could hear the groaning and muttering of patients inside their rooms. This place was creepy...

They stopped in front of a room, and the doctor stopped him. "I have to warn you, he looks pretty rough. He's restrained for his own safety."

Dean nodded, and they went in. The second he laid his eyes on Sam, he swallowed hard. The kid looked like hell. For a 6'4 giant, bad-ass hunter, it was crazy that he could look this scared and weak. His shaggy hair was disheveled, but it didn't quite hide the small cuts on the side of his face. His eyes were red and drooping. How was he still awake?

Dean quickly assessed his brother's injuries. Bandaged hand and wrist, ribs bound up...they'd had worse. Sam would heal.

"Hey kid. How you feeling?" He sat on the edge of the bed.

"Better cancel my UFC fight." Sam chuckled. Damn, after everything, he still had his sense of humor.

"So uh, the doc told me you had drugs in your system."

Sam looked away. "Yeah?"

"It was a mistake, right? Someone must have switched yours with-"

"No, it wasn't a mistake."

"Hold on, are you telling me that you _walked_ to the ghetto, in the middle of the night, to buy drugs?" Dean got up and started pacing, raising his voice. "Why, Sam? You couldn't wake me up?"

"It wasn't like that." Sam said quietly.

"Oh? Then how was it?"

"I-I don't actually remember how I got there. I was in the motel room, lying in bed, and then I was...somewhere in the hood. I really don't know."

"And the drugs?"

"That part I remember."

"You actually bought them? No one roofied you, forced you to take them?"

"No, Dean. I just wanted to sleep." Sam confessed tiredly.

Dean couldn't stay mad. Sam was in a lot of pain, and he couldn't imagine what he was going through with Lucifer. He had to cut the kid some slack.

"Sammy, I'm gonna find you help."

"I don't think it's out there, Dean."

"Sam, if I don't find somethi-"

"Then I'll die. Dean, we knew this was coming."

"How can you be so calm about this? Damn it, get pissed! You're dying? Don't you care?" Dean was yelling again.

Sam winced. "I'm too tired to be upset. Besides, maybe it's just...my time, you know? I'm kinda sick of fighting. I'm just...done."

Dean looked at his little brother. It was obvious that the kid was beat. He sat down again and looked into Sam's eyes. "I'm not giving up on you, Sammy."

* * *

 **Hey guys, thanks for reading! Should I continue? I wanna write more, but first I need to know if anyone is even interested.**


	2. Chapter 2

Dean sighed with frustration. He'd called everyone he could think off. All his contacts, all Bobby's contacts...no one had any idea how to fix Sam. Suddenly his phone rang. He answered it quickly, hopeful that someone was calling back with good news.

No such luck.

"Mr. Smith?"

"Yeah?"

"Hello, this is Dr. Kadinsky. There's been an incident with your brother Sam."

* * *

Dean broke the speed limit the entire way to the hospital. The doctor wouldn't give him details over the phone, but it sounded bad.

When he got there, the doctor was waiting for him outside the psych ward.

"What happened? What's going on?"

"Your brother attempted suicide."

For once, Dean was speechless. Sammy, try to kill himself? No, there had to be a mistake...but then again, he never thought Sam would do drugs either...

"Are you alright?"

"Yeah, I'm fine, just give me a minute..." Dean frowned. "Are you sure it wasn't just an accident? What happened?"

"We underestimated Sam's strength. He broke his restraints and snapped the leg off a metal table, creating a sharp edge. We think his hallucinations convinced him there were bugs under his skin, or something of that nature. He made several deep cuts on his arms like he was trying to remove something. Then it appears as though he realized he could do more damage..."

"Oh God." Dean felt sick. "What did he do?"

"He slit his wrists, and was about to stab himself in the heart when our orderlies realized something was wrong. They managed to get the table leg away from him just in time."

"I can't believe this is happening." Dean muttered, wanting to punch something.

"He was taken into surgery immediately. We were able to repair the veins and tendons, he'll have no lasting damage. He's stable now if you'd like to see him."

 _This couldn't actually be happening..._

Dean followed the doctor into Sam's room. He tried not to look at the white bandages concealing the damage Sam had done to his wrists. He just laid there, staring blankly at the ceiling.

"Let me know if you need anything." The doctor said quietly, leaving Dean alone with his brother.

"I'm so sorry." Sam whispered, not looking Dean in the eyes.

Dean had every intention of yelling. He was pissed. How could Sam try to leave him? He thought of a million things to say, to scream at his little brother, to make him understand...but as soon as Sammy uttered those broken words, all anger left him. Sam was hurting. All Hell was breaking lose inside his mind, literally. He'd dealt with it day after day...for months. It was a miracle he'd lasted this long, honestly.

"It's okay, Sammy." Dean's voice broke and he blinked back tears as he ruffled his little brother's hair. "We'll get through his."


End file.
